Exactly one month ago, I lost my best friend and partner for the past 7 years. He left us suddenly, leaving me with echoes of his presence, feeling as if half of me had evaporated over night. Robbie gave me exactly what I needed, when I needed it, and more. Much more than I ever could have expected. Writing this post has taken time to find the right words, time to write without crumbling, time to paint the right picture of Robbie as he was. Time for me to be able to look back and smile. For inspiration, I went back to our training journals that I kept diligently for most of his career. Robbie was fully trained in his primary tasks and obedience work by December 2015, but he and I kept growing as a team, and as teacher and student for many more years. I continued to add on new skills as I learned more about dog training, and grew as a dog trainer, and listened to what Robbie had to teach me along the way. I added new tasks to his repertoire as my needs developed, and I discovered what he was truly capable of. Robbie was helping me learn right up until the week he passed away. I'd gotten new balance equipment, and was testing out different approaches for teaching both Robbie and Austin to use it. Trying out different things with Robbie helped me see the way forward to teaching Austin, and future dogs. One last gift. Revisit the highlights of Robbie's life with us, as I share passages from his training journals and my own memories over the years. 2015I started my search for a potential dog in fall of 2014. A few months later, I was still making phone calls. I was also beginning to call dog trainers in our area. I felt like I could probably take my horse training experience and apply it to dogs, but wasn't sure how much overlap there was (a surprising amount, actually) or if that was enough to train a service dog. Only 1 trainer even called me back. He was close to retirement, but was willing to sit down with me and talk more in depth about what to look for in a working dog. We met with him a few times. Each time I called back, he seemed surprised that I hadn't given up yet. He finally agreed to take us on a last client. I'd told him I had experience working with horses, as had he, and he agreed to work with me, because "horse people aren't afraid of hard work." His guidance and instruction would prove to be invaluable. In late January 2015, after I'd called and inquired about Robbie (simply a name on a list at that point) a few days earlier, the shelter & prison program coordinated to send me a first photo of Robbie. His adoption profile didn't have one posted, so this was my first sight of him. He was a little over a year old. On February 19, 2015, I paid Robbie's adoption fee of $50. He was on clearance, seeing as how he'd been returned to the shelter twice, each time within 2 weeks of adoption. He was a problem child. He destroyed things. He had, however, passed his Pups on Parole training and showed great promise on field trips to a local mental health hospital where he visited patients to brighten their day. He met about 80% of the criteria we were looking for in a potential service dog. On February 26, we learned a crash course in how to communicate with and handle Robbie from his trainers. Two very nice gentlemen, who were clearly going to miss him. One of his trainers shared that Robbie was his 9th dog that he'd successfully trained and seen adopted out. I could see his was proud of Robbie. The car ride to our trainer's house was a little stressful with Robbie stressed about being taken away by strangers (us), but he settled out at the trainer's house and he passed our trainer's behavior test with flying colors. Also on February 26th, Robbie's training with us started. It was a long day for everyone. After our trainer's house, who had last minute demanded Robbie spend his first night in a crate, which we did not yet have, we had to drive all over town going to 3 different stores looking for said crate. The last place had one in his size left. We drove home, large dog and large crate box tightly packed into our tiny car. Fantastic planning on our part. Robbie was already incredibly patient with this circus. In the end, we were grateful for the crate. Once home, we took Robbie for a walk to help him settle, gave him a tour of the house, and let him settle the rest of the way in his new safe space, his own crate. We set it up beside my side of the bed, so he'd be close to me. His crate would remain his bedtime spot for the rest of his career, with the exception of traveling, when he used a Place blanket. He learned the word, "bedtime", and would often go there to take naps during the day. On his last day with us, he threw a silent tantrum about us locking him out of it, insisting he sleep on his beds outside of it instead, should it be difficult again to get him up the next morning. From February 26, 2015 to October 2015, we worked with a local dog trainer who guided us through the necessary skills and commands Robbie needed to know, taught us how to communicate with Robbie, and encouraged me to learn how to think on my feet and problem solve when I needed it. Over the course of these months, the 3 of us grew rapidly in what we knew about training, how to work together, and in knowing what made a service dog. I spent an average of 60 hours a week training Robbie. When he rested, I rested, or studied dog training methodology, psychology, and body language. I knew horses. I owned a dog growing up. This was a whole new rodeo. Training & living with working dogs is not like owning pet dog - we learned that quickly. After we completed this trainer's courses, we embarked on the rest of Robbie's service dog training with me leading the way. I used my past experiences training horses to train Robbie, and boy, did he have a hell of a lot to teach me in return. March 3 - Robbie is having problems with pulling on the leash, separation anxiety (he coyote yowls), backing up to sit, shooting forward when cars pass, struggling to focus with a lot of distractions, and moves to Sit where he wants to instead of where I asked. April 5 - Robbie climbed into his first chair, all on his own! My dad was visiting, and all of us were standing in a room talking, when we heard a scuffle sound. Robbie had climbed into a kind of rickety, red wooden chair to join the conversation. He would continue to climb in chairs spontaneously for the rest of his life. April 13 – Robbie ate a chunk of my birthday cake this evening. Lesson learned – don’t leave the dog loose when we shower. Robbie will start learning Place in the bathroom during my showers. We still ate the cake. April 30 - First trip to the horse farm! Robbie was very distracted, pulled a lot, and wasn't listening very well. He was very respectful and gentle towards the children, and excited near the horses. April to July - Adam has been doing the bulk of teaching the new exercises from our trainer, and doing the hard work, like withstanding Robbie pulling on walks. I'm working on reinforcing commands at home when Adam goes to work, but if Adam is around, I struggle more. Robbie is having a hard time picking which person to listen to, and keeps defaulting to Adam over me. We realized that I had to find a way to step up through the pain, train through high pain, and be Robbie's primary person. This took several months before it was resolved, and lots of severe flare ups. I had no medication at this time either, to help recover. But we did get there. May - Robbie has his first zoomie in the house. We'd never seen a dog do this before and weren't sure what to make of it. Quick and agile, he'd tear through the house, from one room to another, making hairpin turns, sliding stops, and bound away as fast as he had appeared. June 3 - Robbie's first time getting a bath outside. Lots of hopping and thrashing. Robbie does not like the hose. June 5 - Our team passed our trainer's obedience course! On to more advanced precision training, more in depth public access, and task training. September 9 - Baths outside have gotten easier. We can use Stand and Back to maneuver him. He loves being toweled, and charging through the house afterward in post-bath zoomies. September - I started teaching Robbie jumps in the house to help drain energy. He loves it! Looks like a natural. October 21 - We're starting to teach Robbie how to Find Adam in stores. He won't leave my side, just keeps trying to brace. I need to help him understand it's okay to leave my side. Not sure how to proceed. (This task got dropped and picked up later, when Robbie was older and I figured out how to teach it better) November 11 - Robbie broke the training table leaping onto it during a post-bath zoomie. He surfed on it for a hot second as it shot through the air, then he leapt off to the side. He was uninjured. He is sad about no table. We'll replace soon I hope... he loves his table. November 2015 - Robbie is ignoring people while working, places objects in my hand on cue, can do Leave It off leash, can Heel off leash with distractions at home, I'm working on finding good distractions at home to challenge him without making it too hard to learn, and we're working on building his confidence for problem solving how to go through a partially closed door to get to me or Adam without directly giving a door cue. December 22 - Robbie's first road trip with us to visit family in NC. He did really well! He was ready to go home after a few days though. During the vacation, Robbie braced, found Adam for me, and interrupted pain flares. He couldn't do tasks like doors, since it was someone else's house. His bracing is really good. Robbie has completed all of his obedience and socialization training. Tasks he can do reliably are bracing, opening and closing doors, and interrupting pain/stress. We're working on Retrieve, but he doesn't like it much. Now we're focusing more on public access and task training, as well as continuing to build up his reliability with commands around higher distractions. 2016February 6 - Our first public access issue. A local restaurant refused to let us in. I got very agitated and upset by it, and Robbie leaned into me to settle me. We ended up going somewhere else. February 11 - Robbie's first trip to the ER with me. He did a really good job. He was worried about me - my jaw was dislocated - and kept nosing my hands gently. I'd spend the next month and a half with my jaw locked open. Training continued, public access and all. In mid-March, a doctor in St. Louis relocated my jaw and wired it shut. He then scheduled me for surgery so this wouldn't happen anymore (this was the 5th time). March 22 - We were in St. Louis for my jaw surgery and had time to spare, so we took Robbie to the zoo for the first time. He did very nicely, but was a bit concerned about the elephants. March 23 - Robbie's first trip to a hospital and an overnight stay with me post-jaw surgery. He did wonderful! He was fine with the nurses and staff handling me, but did glare at a mean nurse when she was too rough with me. It was an incredibly long day for all of us. They'd demanded we show up at 9am, which we did, but didn't tell us until mid-afternoon my surgery had been scheduled as a "we'll fit you in" deal. Robbie held potty for over 10 hours that day because Adam didn't want to leave me alone - the staff were not being great with the CRPS - and we didn't know when I was going to be taken back or what was going on. We also were not informed that we'd be staying the night until right before my surgery. Robbie aced it nonetheless. March 24 - Robbie gave me his first head press. He pushed his head up against my chest, then slid down into my lap and snuggled when we got to where we would be staying for my jaw surgery. March to May - Robbie and I developed our own form of nonverbal communication due to my recovering from surgery, and not being able to talk clearly. I got in trouble a lot for sneaking out of bed to train Robbie. Robbie snuggled on the bed with me every day. April 14 - Robbie's first playdate with a new dog friend, Bruiser. I'd reconnected with a friend from college, wanting Robbie to be able to have other dogs to socialize with, but dogs who wouldn't be likely to teach him poor behaviors. He started out playing with Bruiser, but it would ultimately be Smoke, her other, younger dog, who would be close with Robbie. Mid-April - Robbie can take off-leash walks with us at Adam's parent's farm now, and off-leash playtime at home. He did an excellent job staying within 50ft of me, checking in, and coming when called. It's wonderful to see him gallop and trot through the field. Summer -
September - Robbie has started bracing to help me out of the shower safely. November - Robbie begins learning how to pull lightweight things behind himself, like a laundry basket. By the end of 2016, Robbie knew 45 commands, 6 primary tasks, had gone to 50+ new places in public, and was off leash reliable. He could Brace in a variety of situations, help stabilize me on hills and stairs, open and close doors multiple ways, retrieve items close by and carry them, interrupt pain or stress, to turn on lights with nose nudges, and is learning to drag lightweight things behind himself. 2016 was easily our hardest year because I had a lot of dental work and recovery done. This interrupted training at times, and made progress slow on some things, but easier with others. It proved Robbie's resiliency. 2017Robbie is done with primary training and on to maintenance training to keep his skills sharp, and keep him from getting bored, since my needs for task work change from day to day. Robbie is far more willing to retrieve and has more fun with it. January - Robbie starts pulling firewood into the house with his first pull rig. This is one of his favorite tasks. January 17 - Robbie starts doing retrieve in public, and does great, even with people coming up close to watch him work. January 26 - Robbie learns how to help me pull sheets off the bed and begins helping with this task on a regular basis. He loves pulling them off and then rolling in them with his antler reward. February 27 - We go to work with Adam to spend the day at the farm and end up testing Robbie's resolve against a crisis. While burning brush piles in a controlled burn, one gets away and the fire department has to be called. In turned into a whole day of crisis mode. Robbie stayed calm and focused on me, and even finally got over his minor phobia of Adam's fire mask. He was so happy to see Adam return each time after disappearing into the smoke that he seemed to stop caring about the funny thing on his face. March 20 - He did his 1st targeted drop of putting clothes in the laundry basket! He's learning all the components now for helping with laundry. May - He's learning new commands to Reach for something or to put something down (he leans back when he puts his paws up) and to move Around me instead of over me to switch sides. He is getting braver about water and went belly deep in the lake! He is able to help me pick up or pull branches through the yard to our burn pile for yard work assistance. Adam built him a box for me to teach Tuck better. Tuck failed. Robbie found a new favorite spot to curl up, though! June 17 - Robbie has his first popsicle. Pineapple! Yum! July - Adam built Robbie a cart for helping me move firewood. August 1 - Robbie played fetch outside for the first time off leash! August to October - Robbie and I work on teaching him cues for turns with his cart hooked up, how to maneuver it together, and light pull training. October - Robbie will recall away from wild rabbits easily. November - Adam has shoulder surgery. Robbie steps up to help me take care of us all. Robbie is also able to help me bring firewood into the house by now, which was a huge help. December - Robbie can help move firewood from the pile to the trailer and the trailer to the stacking area. By the end of 2017, Robbie knew 50 commands, 10 tasks, and was beginning to help me with therapeutic horseback riding, as well as doing laundry. To learn laundry, he also learned how to DIG on cue, for digging clothes our of the hamper. Robbie's off days are spent at the horse farm, family farm, or nearby lake field. 20182017 and 2018 were the years where everything really began to settle out and fall into a steady rhythm of life and working together. We did have one major setback in 2018, though. Robbie got spooked by a faulty soda machine in a restaurant, I handled it all wrong by letting us leave while he was stressed, and it ballooned into a huge problem. It set us back for being in restaurants. You can read more about that here. By summer of 2018, Robbie could pull 30 lbs of firewood in his cart, easily. He was 75% reliable with my using a laser pointer to cue him to what I needed him to retrieve. On June 9th, 2018, Robbie walked me down the aisle with my best friend. He carried the rings in a little bucket. This took several months to teach. Later in June, we took our longest road trip yet, to Colorado. We walked close to 20 miles spaced out over 4 days of vacation in the Colorado mountains. It was gorgeous. Robbie complained that we did not bring his tuck box with us - how dare we! I made up a tote box for him that we'd used to pack clothes in for the trip. He made it work. By this time, I was spending my spare time writing lessons, and taking demo photos or videos for the business I was building. Disabled Advantage. Robbie was a part of every step along the way. In 2018, we bought a new rabbit, named her Flopsy, and she helped us finish Robbie's training around small animals when they're up close. Robbie and Flopsy made their own friendship over the next 2 years. By the end of the year, Robbie was able to go in restaurants again, but he was staying on alert. We continued to work on it. 2019 + 20202019 was relatively uneventful. I was working harder on setting up Disabled Advantage, and Robbie helped however he could. In 2020, Robbie rode on his first trolley. To my personal horror, he climbed onto the seat with me. The driver started before I could react, and the ride was too rough to attempt asking him to please get down. I let it go. From late January to Early March, Robbie and I walked 80 miles. We were staying away from home due to renovations going on, and where we were staying allowed for longer walks with more exploration. It also meant there was no treadmill to fall back on, so I really had to push myself to give Robbie 2 walks every day. Even in mud, ice, and snow. Robbie finally got over walking in mud, though! Robbie was a little confused about the house renovations, but went along with it. He came with us to the house every day to work on it. He either watched patiently from his ex-pen a safe distance away, or helped out by bringing me painter's tape. When we returned home finally, he exploded with joyous zoomies. The pandemic through a wrench in public access. For a lot of teams. I came up with a list of training exercises to keep Robbie on his game, but it was a hard few months. The benefit of it was that it also hit the reset button on restaurants for Robbie's brain, and we were able to resume that fully and with ease. October - Adam and I started talking more in earnest about the future for Robbie. What retirement will look like, when to do it, when to look for second dog, and any changes to make. One immediate change we made was to build fence around the porch and put an end to Robbie's extreme acrobatics days of leaping on and off the porch, in an effort to preserve his shoulders longer. Robbie did not like this change. We also took away his tuck box. Another sadness. 2021 + 2022Jan 2, 2021 - Robbie forgot the porch has a fence now. He remembered mid-air. Right before smashing into it. It was a heart-stopping moment for me. He was fine, merely a bump on his head for a few days, and better judgement to follow. February - Robbie helps me teach my first client, and my friend, and her dog. Her dog and Robbie become good friends throughout this training. By the end of his career, Robbie knew 60 commands reliably. He reliably performed 37 different types of tasks that fell under 12 task categories types (like Brace, Retrieve, etc). He could jump 2ft with ease and clear it with room to spare. He loved to gallop, reaching out fully in a double-suspension gallop, and still preferred jumping over playing fetch. He could walk, sit, stand, and even gallop across a balance beam. He loved lying in the wood trailer, sleeping, watching Adam cut firewood, or chew on an antler. He simply wanted to be with us, watching over us. July 2021 - Robbie began slowing down, being less steady with brace work, and a bump appeared on his shoulders. Our vet checked him out and discovered an old tendon tear had likely happened earlier in the year, then calcified. Robbie never showed any signs of pain or resistance to working, so we didn't know until it was time to retire him. Robbie struggled immensely with retirement. When we were home, he isolated himself, but then chewed through baby gates when we left, and initially tried to remain in a long sit for several hours waiting for us to return after errands. For a few months, we began dropping him off with my mother-in-law to dog-sit him. He would happily go with her to church when she cleaned it, would follow her around the house, and wait for us to return for him. When he whined, my father-in-law would play music to soothe him. As time passed, he accepted it more. He snuggled with me when we'd return, as if to let it be known that he'd missed me dearly and was happy to see I'd survived without him. We still went on long walks, played games, and let him do light task work when he offered it. In September, he helped me evaluate potential dogs to be the next service dog, and we settled on Austin. He helped me start Austin's training, and taught Austin more on manners. He glared at Austin whenever I'd return from a walk or session limping or walking differently. In 2022, we had several deep snow days. Robbie and Austin had a blast jumping through the snow with each other, and with me. Austin was a lot like an annoying younger brother to Robbie. Robbie was very patient with him. Too patient at times, even. The interesting thing, though, was that Austin would self-handicap when he played with Robbie. He'd lay down to even the play-field. When Austin struggled to grasp something, I could show it with Robbie, and it helped Austin learn. They grew to love spending time together, especially farm days. In April, Austin and Robbie played in a creek together. It was our first time seeing Robbie play in water and fully let loose. Robbie got to live his last few months with lots of good times and love. Favorites
Articles & MentionsHow Service Dogs Can Help with Chronic Pain - the first article I wrote about Robbie Assistance Dogs for Those Suffering CRPS - an article written on the blog of BLB Solicitors' website, mentions our team Surviving the Unbearable: How Assistance Dogs Can Treat Chronic Pain - an article on Rover mentions our team GoodbyeOn the morning of May 22, 2022, I held Robbie's head in my arms as an ER vet euthanized him due to a spleen tumor bursting. I whispered all the love. I whispered a thank you that will never feel like enough. This dog who no one wanted, gave me a life no one thought was possible. We found him at exactly the right time. He pushed me, challenged me, and taught me. I learned how to really work through and live through CRPS pain, to find a way into a better life with the pain. He helped me find who I was with the CRPS, and brought me back to the fold of animal training. He showed me what I was capable of, and reminded me of it every time I doubted myself. He allowed my husband and I to have a stronger marriage, because our relationship didn't rely quite as heavily on my husband being a caregiver. Robbie did a huge amount of work to take a load off my husband. Robbie helped me find, and start, Austin. When I lost Robbie, Austin was here to take up the reins of keeping me going. Austin doesn't do task work yet. He's still learning. But simply being here, needing me to teach him, that picked up the mantle of what Robbie did that never was and never will be a true task, but nonetheless is essential. Austin pushed me to keep going. To keep putting one foot in front of the other, to work through the grief and the pain, and to find a way to better. To here. To today and the strength to write this, and to look ahead, and be okay with a different dog by my side now. Robbie wasn't perfect. But he was perfect for me. I grew as an individual, as a dog owner, as a wife, and as a dog trainer with him. I got to craft a damn good working dog and see what goes into that lifestyle. And I think I love it. It will never be what I was before, training horses and later photographing baseball, but it fits with who I am at my core. Robbie helped me find that. An easier dog never would have pushed me as hard to succeed. Robbie really made me work for it. An easier dog wouldn't have taught me so much, nor pushed me to learn more. We buried Robbie under apple trees with a marker that reads "Guardian - Guide." His job was to keep me safe from as many CRPS triggers and during CRPS flares as possible. He did that and more. When we suspected a cougar of being in the pasture, he refused to let me go in certain directions, only paths he chose. I firmly believe he could either smell it or see it. When I did activities he deemed unacceptable (he likely watched me intently and realized unusual activities were just that - unusual), he would stop whatever he was doing to sit up and watch me closely with a nanny face. When I cleaned the rabbit hutch, he would set up as sentry, looking outward. He guided me through life with CRPS and never left my side. Goodbye, Robbie. Thank you for giving me the impossible.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
My Name is Sally...I have a condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. This blog is about my journey training Robbie, a dog who helped me regain independence, confidence, and achieve the impossible in the face of my disability. It continues on with the training of Austin, Robbie's successor. Check Out... - "More than a Dog" was published on a site called The Mighty Categories
All
Archives
August 2023
|