I have been putting off writing this. Partly because I want to keep this loss to myself, and partly because if I write it here, it's more real. More definite. But - anyone who reads this blog and who has followed my journey with Robbie should get to know even the difficult stuff. And I have no doubt that this post will find someone who has gone through this before, or will have to one day, and maybe it can help you. We've made the incredibly difficult decision to retire Robbie. He is 8 years old, has been with me for 7 years, but worked for 6 of those. In that time, he has prevented countless falls, gotten me off the ground more times than I could possibly ever count, retrieved items I dropped, opened doors I couldn't, pulled heavy things that would have been painful for me to pick up or pull, assisted with household chores like laundry, watched over me every day ready to jump in and help me, and much much more. Retiring him is an immense blow to my sense of normal, his sense of normal, and my CRPS management strategy overall. Robbie is one of those dogs who never shows pain or discomfort - he just keeps going. A lot like myself. When I found a bony protrusion on his chest a few weeks ago, I called the vet and made an appointment, worried he had hurt himself somehow. Scans revealed that he had indeed strained the tendons in both shoulders at some point in the spring, and not showing his pain, had worked through until they calcified and he began to lose the stamina to deal with it any longer. I hate that he managed to hurt himself and I never knew, but there was no way for me to know. Nothing dramatic had happened, he merely moved wrong during an activity. He now has the equivalent of chronic tendonitis, making it clear he can't do his job. The irony is that his joints are in excellent condition. That's what we'd been watching and figured would be the retirement sign; joints, not tendons. After consulting with a colleague, our vet recommended that Robbie be retired and I begin my search for my next dog to train and shape into a CRPS service dog for myself. The best we can do is give him NSAIDS, and give him a great retired life. I had noticed a few things beginning to show in the last month but didn't understand what they were until we got the vet's diagnosis. I assumed Robbie was beginning to slow down due to his age overall. After all - he has had more miles put on his body in his 8 years of life than a pet dog who mostly sleeps, walks, and plays. Every now and then, Brace wasn't as solid as it once was, but when I asked him to balance more evenly, he would. Public Access seemed to be more tiresome for him, as I'd catch him taking short naps more often and out of place. Getting in and out of our truck, was becoming harder, especially when we moved to a larger truck. Little things that fell into place when we realized what he was dealing with. I felt - I feel horrible that I didn't see it sooner or put the pieces together faster. Robbie is my first service dog, and my first senior dog, so I was flying blind on what to be looking out for. And every dog is different. Now I know. On what later became his last day of public access, he laid down in a bathroom stall. That was my sign from him that he needed to be done. Robbie's training included to always stand in bathrooms, for sanitary reasons, but primarily so that he would be ready to brace. He has never laid down in a bathroom, except for showers. For him to be in working gear, be in town, on-duty, and immediately lay down in the bathroom upon going inside, big red flag that something was not right. That was an hour or so before our vet appointment. Then it all made sense. Robbie will continue to do light task work at home, and will have the best possible farm dog life we can give him. Unfortunately, most of his tasks are too heavy for his shoulders to accommodate anymore. Already I can tell he is confused about the changes to his normal, and desperately wish there was a way to explain it to him. All of this has been incredibly hard on me, adapting to him not helping with flares or preventing them, coping with the loss of not having my partner with me in public anymore, and that weird loss of my partner being gone whilst still physically here. I am taking it one day, one minute at a time. We both are. I must start preparing for Robbie's successor and start searching. I am simultaneously excited about the prospect and feel like I'm dragging my feet. I don't want to move on, but I must for my health. This is one of the hardest parts of working with a service dog. This blog is not going away any time soon. I'm sure I'll have more to say as I work through Robbie's retirement, how I manage him, and I'll loop you guys in on how my search is going, and such like that. I started this site a year into working with Robbie, so I think it will be exciting and useful to people to read about the front end of looking for and selecting a successor. Thanks for reading and following our training journey!
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My Name is Sally...I have a condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. This blog is about my journey training Robbie, a dog who helped me regain independence, confidence, and achieve the impossible in the face of my disability. It continues on with the training of Austin, Robbie's successor. Check Out... - "More than a Dog" was published on a site called The Mighty Categories
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